Currently...
Listening to: Klymaxx's "If I'd Still Say Yes"
Feeling: tired but excited because I'll be seeing Sinta soon
Craving for: KFC honey BBQ wings and an ice cold glass of Coke, but I'm actually eating a bowl of underestimated Honey Nut Cheerios

I'm just killing time right now. I'm waiting for my brother's call to pick him up from work. From there, I'll drive up to see Sinta at his work. It's been a lazy day today; but why do I feel tired? I only work half days on Thursdays. Maybe it's the weather? I'd rather be under the covers. It was pretty weird today--one minute it was raining, the next, I'd see blue sky, and then it would rain again. I am prepared with a couple of different jackets in my car for each weather condition.

I'm feeling homesick right now...I miss my family in the Philippines. The last time I was home was in May of 2001. My sister-in-law was due to give birth during that time, but little Nico was taking his sweet time entering this world. I remember I extended my stay for a couple more days so that I was there when Aubrey delivered. It's amazing how time flies. I talk to Nico sometimes on the phone. He's one smart cookie, and a funny one at that. The last time I talked to him, he kept saying, "Nico has big tummy!" I'm his godmother, and sometimes he refers to me as "Tita Ninang". What a cutie. I feel bad because I don't talk to my family as often as I should. On average, we talk about twice a month. It's not often enough, though. I shouldn't say that I'm too busy to call because there's no such thing as being too busy. We all have time to do things. Anyway, my brain is scattered right now, and I could blab on about a lot of things about my family and time, or lack thereof, and what not, but I won't. Bottom line is, I'm homesick.

Saturday morning. Currently listening to KCCN online. Wearing red SFFD sweatshirt, shorts, my glasses. Just one of them days. Currently feeling jittery and anxious, and flustered at the same time. I just had two large cups of chocolate macadamia nut coffee. Hey, I just needed my caffeine fix this morning, otherwise I'd go through withdrawal.

I have the whole Saturday afternoon ahead of me and it will be spent doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, balancing my checkbook, and paying bills. Ughhh...bills! My most favorite thing to do in the whole world! I started cleaning the kitchen this morning, but I didn't finish because I got distracted straightening up the living room. Didn't finish, because I got distracted once again and I took all of my plants out to water them. If you were to look at our place right now at this very minute, it is messier than when I first started cleaning. Obviously, I got distracted again because I'm on the computer right now typing away.

My mom has these anal tendencies when she cleans, and when I was younger (and until now), she would make sure that I would do things right. That's fine, except that she takes it to the extreme, like making sure the tassels on the throw rug are straight after vaccuuming. She also likes making triangles on the carpet when she vaccuums. Mom's little quirks never really bothered me, but I swore to myself that I'd never be like that. But lo and behold, here I am practicing Mom's anal ways. Maybe not quite like her, but Sinta has pointed out that I do have my ways. He messed with my vanity tray by arranging my two rows of lipstick into three rows, moving my compact upside down, and rearranging the order of my perfumes and creams. Omigosh, it irked me, and I gave him the stink eye while I put everything back in its proper place.

It seems someone else has inherited these anal-retentive traits. My 2 1/2 year old nephew Nico likes to arrange shoes and slippers in a straight line. Just like a puzzle, he makes sure every shoe and slipper is with its partner. He also straightens up the coffee table, lining up the remote controls. Because Nico refuses to leave the house until the shoes and remote controls are in order, more often than not, he makes my parents late for appointments. It drives Mom crazy! Isn't that funny and ironic?

I still have a hangover from the trip; I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, especially at work. At least I didn't have a pile of papers waiting for me when I went back yesterday. But by midafternoon, I had about eight tasks to do by day's end. I was obviously slacking off and still dreaming about Hawaii.

Spring is almost here and the weather is starting to warm up a bit. The trees in our apartment complex are blooming with pink and white blossoms. Very pretty. It's warm out right now, but overcast. I described it as being a "nice day today", and Sinta looked at me like I was crazy. It's relatively a nice day out for the Bay Area. Relatively nice.

My diet and exercise update. Well, so much for dieting...we're trying hard, though, Sinta and I. How about this for trying hard: an In & Out burger, no cheese, with a side of fries and a large soft drink...lol. This morning we had malasadas and over-easy eggs. One afternoon in Mililani, we decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood, only to find out that it was raining. So what did we do? We grab a pack of Chips Ahoy cookies and jump into the car for a little drive. Lol! Don't get me wrong, we did go on a lot of walks. And I mean very long walks. So really, we're not that bad. We're trying.

Well, here I am, back here in the Bay. Sinta and I arrived last night, greeted by the cold wet weather. How I miss Hawaii already. When will I get to wake up to the cool wind again, cruise around in shorts and slippers, enjoy the laid back feel of the islands? Going back to work this morning depresses me. Feeling like a school kid on a Monday morning, I just want to play hooky. Except I want to play hooky in Hawaii.

One of the things I enjoyed the most was being able to share with Sinta my childhood memories, and Hawaii holds a big part of that, and how he shared his life in Hawaii with me (if anyone goes to Hawaii anytime soon, you have to have Andy's sandwiches and Waiola shave ice). It's comforting to know that we have this common ground that we can now share together.

This trip was so much more than just a getaway. I think it was a "make it or break it" trip that spelled a future in Hawaii. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I got caught up in that sweet idea. Maybe not. There was something about being in the islands with Sinta that felt so natural, so right. Considering that I never went back since my family and I left the islands in '93, I never felt rushed to do or see things during our mini-vacation. Sure, we got so much done during our short stay, but there are not regrets for the things we didn't do or see. I guess what I'm saying is that I have a feeling that we'll be back again, soon...maybe(right, Sinta?...lol)

No, I lied...being a couple of dorks wasn't the only thing we did since we got here in Hawaii. It's just so nice to be back; it's been too long--10 years to be exact. This is where I spent most of my childhood. As the plane landed, so many memories that were long forgotten began to resurface. Old sights and the familiar feel of the warm tropical climate and trade winds pieced together what was left of the memories that I did remember.

One of the first things Sinta and I did was drive down to Pearl Harbor (after stuffing our faces with piping hot malasadas) to see the neighborhood I grew up in, Catlin Park. Charline spent many summers there. Crissi, Pris, Rhod and I played kickball in the street or ride our bikes around the circle since we weren't allowed to leave the block. I saw our old "monkey pod" tree...our home base when we played freeze tag. Jaime's street was nearby, too. She would come over our house all the time on her skateboard with her Nintendo tucked under her arm. We also drove by my old elementary, intermediate, and high schools, sharing old stories with Sinta. It's nice sharing these things with someone as I'd like to hear the memories he has of here.

But now it's time to make new memories together. So far, Sinta and I had our malasada fix, drove out to the Blow Hole and around Hawaii Kai, ate local food, shopped at Ala Moana, drove around some more, ate again...and again...Today's agenda: drive up Kaneohe side and bum around at the beach under the warm Hawaiian sun...Sinta, can we stay here forever?

PAHABOL...
Thanks much to Doh for setting up my blog. I likes it a lot!...

Couple of Dorks

Sinta and I are out here in Hawaii since yesterday, and this is all that we've done so far.

"Panagbenga"--Baguio City's Flower Festival

Baguio City...nestled in the Cordillera mountains, this is the only place in the Philippines where you can find pine trees and wild sunflowers. This is where I spent some of the best years (my college years) of my life. If I could, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

In a couple of weeks will be Panagbenga, Baguio's annual flower fest. Think of it as a mini Rose Bowl Parade, but with other festivities as well. My favorite part of the festival was going to Session Rd. This city's premiere street was closed to vehicles for a couple of days. About a couple of blocks long, people (mostly college students) from all over come to Session to enjoy the food, drinks, sights, and sounds. It's the only time of the year when you can enjoy barbecues and live music outdoors. One year, Febe and I were excited when we discovered "puto bumbong" (rice cake cooked inside bamboo) because you could only get that during the holiday season.

I remembered Panagbenga because I heard from Shao and Joy that the group will be getting together this year (Inggit ako!! Sana makakauwi ako this year). I think my college buds still try to get together every year during Panagbenga. What's wonderful about this group of friends is that we still keep in touch after all these years. When we do get the chance to talk, we pick up right where we left off as if it was yesterday.

PAHABOL...
Cris, Mike, and kids...have a wonderful vacation! Wish we could see each other during our getaway...Oh well, there's always a next time. Have fun!

Diet Days

Okay, I have to stop eating the way I do these days. I can see my doctor right now calling me at 7 in the morning, "You're a year overdue for your cholestorol check. Make an appointment." She scolded me once for not making a quarterly check up.

So no more Jollibee hamburger Yums or McDonald's chicken mcnuggets and french fries. No more chocolates and candies, or cookies and cakes...starting today. We agreed on today, but we gave in. At least Sinta was good about it and had a banana to curb his sugar cravings. I, on the other hand, influenced him to get boba with me. This is going to be tough...I'm going to be nibbling on grass and having a can of air in my diet.

Snowboarding Update

My weekend started last Friday when Sinta picked me up at 5pm. Making our way up to Sacramento, we jumped on 101, crossed the Dumbarton Bridge, and exited on 880 north. But somewhere between feasting on our Jollibee meals and complaining about 880's traffic metering lights, we missed a turn. Instead of driving straight to Sac, we ended up taking the scenic route through Stockton. It was a long drive.

Saturday proved to be a beautiful sunny day after the rainstorm the night before. Sinta and I drove up to Boreal for my first snowboarding experience. The drive up was beautiful. I haven't seen snow in about 20 years, and to see the peaceful, pristine mountain snow was breathtaking.

I had my first fall getting off the lift. Frustrated and embarassed, I tried to get up quickly with one foot anchored to the board lest I get trampled over by skiers and other boarders getting off the lift after us. The first couple of runs weren't so bad, and I definitely did fall down a lot--on my knees, on my back; a couple of times I fell hard on my butt. I fell downhill facedown and had a mouthful of snow. I didn't realize how tiring and strenuous this sport can be.

Injury assessment: Sore calves, abs, tricepts, and forearms; two bruises on my right knee, three on my left; and a stretched ligament on my left knee. I am now limping like an old woman with arthritis.

It's not going to stop me from boarding again. I can't wait till next season!

We made sure we took the shorter route home.

Snowboarding...finally!

I will finally get to go snowboarding this weekend! This will actually be my first time, and I have JP to teach me. First things first, I had to buy my gear, so last night we headed to Copeland. I had a difficult time looking for pants in the women's section because even a size small is too big on me. Talk about sporting the baggy TLC-Cross Colors look. I just need to pin condoms all over the pants, and I'll look like Left Eye. I almost bought it until JP found a large in the kid's section. The color and style was much cuter, but I didn't think the pants would fit over my hips. Lo and behold, the pants did fit. We didn't have time to look for a jacket or gloves because it was closing time, and they were about to kick us out. So this morning, we went to Sports Basement in the city to look for a jacket. I found a really cute mauve jacket in the women's section, but we spotted a baby blue one in the kid's section that costs so much less than the mauve one that I was already wearing. I decided to get the blue one. I was telling my brother earlier about my new stuff, and he said, "Damn, are you that little? Well hey, you have the benefits of buying cheaper stuff!" I guess.

I'm really excited, but I don't know what to expect. Every single one of my friends who boards tell me that I will be spending most of my time on my ass. Other comments I've received: "Your butt's going to be so bruised up, you won't be able to sit for a very long time!", "Bring a pillow to pad your ass.", "Make sure that the person who'll be teaching you has a lot of patience. It surely won't be me--I can't babysit you on the slopes.", "Fall on your butt, not your knees."

We'll see...

My Soul Mate

It's funny how life hands you blessings at unexpected times. Don't get me wrong; I thank God everyday for all the blessings He has given me. I pray to Him, but I never ask Him for anything because I know He has a plan for me. Well, it's been years since I've been in a serious relationship. Since then, it has crossed my mind that I may be single for the rest of my life, but I've never embraced that fact. For some reason, deep down inside, I knew that He has someone for me. I know that for some of us, God made us in two's, and that somewhere out there in this big world, God has made my significant other--my soul mate.

And I did meet someone. Early on in our relationship, we had a discussion about soul mates. He explained that a soul mate is someone whom you share a special bond with, your significant other, someone whom you'll share and spend the rest of your life with. I, on the other hand, argued that your soul mate doesn't necessarily have to be your significant other. He or she can be your friend. I was denying the fact that this guy sitting next to me could really be my soulmate, and I knew in my heart that he is. I think I was just scared to be in a relationship and of many other things that went along with it. I denied my thoughts and my feelings for a very long time.

But now I know he truly is the one for me. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't know how else to express it. And even though I have a difficult time expressing how I feel, I hope he knows. I may not say it as often as I should, but my feelings haven't changed. More than anything, they have become stronger.

The Bridge to You

Walking, walking aimlessly
Lost in the city
People are strangers
I search for the bridge,
The bridge to you.
But I can never find it
I see its lights
Its span crossing the bay
I'm walking, walking aimlessly
To find the bridge,
The bridge to you.
I'm lost in the city
Tall towers hovering over me
Through doors leading to nowhere
But I can see the bridge,
The bridge to you.
I don't ask for directions
Because I can see its lights
Its span crossing the bay
I'm walking, walking towards it.
Towards the bridge.
The bridge to you.

01/16/04